I Love You, Fruitlessly

I love you, fruitlessly..

Like my trees in winter

with a spring that's never coming.

All my wild flowers

Wilted, throwing petals down 

like silk stockings at the foot of the bed.

I love you, fruitlessly..

Like a treasure map with no X,

and a rainbow without a pot of gold.

Lazy rivers

Icing over

Forgetting what it's like to thaw.

I love you fruitlessly..

A journey with no end,

A ship always on the horizon.

HOIST THE COLORS

I'm bored and everyone is old.

The whole world went back to school and so did their children.

And we never learn a god damn thing.

Didn't I try and tell you once to be open, 

and to listen to everything around you..?

I am overwhelmed.

The hum of urban neon chaos, 

the soundtrack of my dreams, 

the song in my footsteps.

Crafting Life like the pattern of a wedding dress.

Marking in chalk, pinning things down, 

cutting delicately on dotted lines.

Poised for Power 

feels more like

Standing on the Precipice.

At any moment my castle may tumble into the sea.

I may be thrashed to bits on the rocks below.

Drowned in the white waters and sunk down into cold depths.

Falling is the easy part-You just fall.

It's the jumping that's hard.

It's the landing that's tough.

Flying with a mostly blind eye on the horizon,

I long for the fall.

I wish for the tumble head over heels into Anything.

My life; A long series of blurry cartwheeling landscapes.

Somersaulting before my eyes.

The Spin Cycle.

Going over and over my Self.

Over and over again.

Revising, reviewing, redoing-all the same shit.

Style this next flight a long one, to someplace I've never been-

Maybe around the Sun and the Moon

Breaking back through the atmosphere like Fire.

I'm bored and America is an angry old woman- and so is everyone in it.

Shake off your cobwebs and burn down your pretense 

And fly your rebel colors if you can hear me..!!

Prepping for another unknowable departure to Anywhere

I swear I won't even take my landing gear this time.

I make no plans to touch down, or to ever return at all... 

Train Tracks and Other Metaphores

This is a poem for my generation

written on a Monday at the office,

while I Facebook and YouTube

instead of filing and data entry.

Because I'm trying to peer over the wall of time

and spy on a life I had once, where we all went to high school together

and cut classes in favor of the beach and the woods

and driving around in your parents convertible without their permission.

And in the dark of the night my footsteps make no noise,

and the cars on the high way are a river of fire. 

I am followed by my street light shadow,

these are train tracks and other metaphors.

Where are we? We wonder out loud,

to each other, and to ourselves, and to no one in particular...

Who have we become, and who did we want to be?

And did we lay our plans with as much care as we should have?

Probably not. But there's no time now to,

Lament some of my moments of execution..

Where I lost my grace, and fell out of they eyes of honesty,

and struck out.

And in the dark night my footsteps make no noise,

and the road to anywhere is paved with dreams.

I am followed by my street light shadow,

these are train tracks and other metaphors.

We are treading water somewhere between the shores of Child

and the rocky horizon of Adult.

We are piled into rowboats, some of us with children,

some of us with men, and some of us without..

We are filled with wanting and painted in covetous technicolors-

We dare to dream the American Dream that our parents dreamed

and distilled from their parents who dreamed and distilled it from

their parents, and now it holds just a drop if it's original elixir, but we dream on.

And in the dark of my dreams my footsteps make no noise,

and the yellow brick road rolls out a red carpet.

I am followed by my street light shadow,

these are train tracks and other metaphors.

I want to live in a big house with a porch

and a yard for my garden and animals and children,

and a barn so I can hang my half moon out on the eaves

and wind chimes from the rafters.

Maybe I will have some chickens,

and a goat, or a pig...

And I'll make pottery and beaded necklaces

in between pulling weeds and putting on plays with the neighborhood kids.

And in the dark before the dawn my footsteps make no noise,

and the path we walk is unmarked and winding.

I am followed by my street light shadow,

these are train tracks and other metaphors.

I have to write this down because I FORGET MYSELF (all the time....)

and then go throwing blame at every one around me.

Telling them they don't know who I am,

when really it's me, making a false idol of myself.

And at least we are all lost together,

you and me, and all of us, in our rowboats,

between here and the future, 

still updating on Facebook, to validate our existence.

And in the light of day my footsteps make no noise,

and the faces of strangers are all familiar to me.

I am followed by my street light shadow,

these are train tracks and other metaphors.

Vagabond Sue

Mama said start running,

Daddy's bad with advice.

I grew out of dirty rags

and into sin and vice.

Now they keep an eye out

for me and all my lies

and me, I bow out early

and sever all my ties.

I'm dancing round the rodeo

just me and all the clowns

My boots are worn and dusty

from jumping town to town.

It's me and my dog, Rusty,

who's only got three legs,

and we live thin on Whiskey

and other fellas kegs.

Sometimes I dance on table tops

and swing from chandeliers,

but mostly I'm just riding trains

and have been now for years.

Someday they say I'll settle down

when youth has run from me

but I just keep on dancing

and livin wild and free.

'Cos the night has got me in it's hands

and God smiles down on me, 

I said, I'll just keep on dancing now,

and livin wild and free...

Remembering Me

Sometimes I remember myself.
In moments of delicious clarity, I remember who I am,
and who I wanted to become
and I don't feel at all like I am missing out, or being passed over,
or passed by, or left behind.
I don't feel at all like I am missing out on anything,
or spinning madly out of control.

Sometimes, in delicious moments of crisp,
refreshing, blinding, clarity-
I see myself and I am happy.
Like the elation of a desert nomad who's just found the well,
it is the first sip that cures the thirst,
and reminds me I am still alive.

I am alive.
I am reminded to rejoice!

To be gracious and grateful and good.
To dance lightly across the face of this world
and throw kisses at the sky.
Sometimes in cool, fleeting moments, shaded by serenity,
I am reminded of who I am, and who I wanted to become.
I remember who I am,
and I am free.

Tracks of Her Tears

Girl-
You look like you've been crying-
You know, I saw your tears from three rows back.

Girl, you look exhausted too early in the evening-
Riding the train, crying in the rain
Girl, you look like hell.

I know that feeling,
Girl I don't know.
I have been where you are,
in between here and there,
Eyes Closed.

Girl- trying to forget the feeling
of your tear streaked cheeks.

Girl- whatever it is that has you
weeping silently
on this commuter afternoon,
I hope you shake it off-
these dreary day blues.
Girl I don't know.
Girl I know.
You've been crying.

LONE WOLF & WILD WOMAN

For a while there, I had this wild stray dog,
This lone wolf,
who'd come sniffing at my yard every so often
To lay in the grass and play with my dog
and eat my chicken and do his laundry in my basement.
He'd tell me ''Someday'' he was gonna rent us a cave,
to settle down and raise mutts in.

And I wondered how that would work.
Lone Wolf and Wild Woman take up cave dwelling
Somewhere in the asshole of Idaho.
It's almost like a Joni Mitchell song..
Made me nervous, you know
those never end well.

We'd raise feral little children
who spit and scratch and we'd tell them to
Knock it off!!
Like our parents did to us.
Somewhere in the hills of the asshole of Idaho.
In caves for $25 a month.

I wanted to tell him
Go on along without me to your cave
That's not my style.
Hard labor and my manicure don't agree
and I'm too busy dreaming about tempurpedic mattresses and sterling candelabras.
I'd only be in the way.

But everybody knows wolves and humans don't speak the same language.
So the last night he came sniffing,
I chased him off my property
for pissing on my flowers one too many times...
and he never came back.

I wonder if I'll ever see him again.

Conversation with Jesus

I saw Jesus walking up the hill,

He said, "Go on without me, I'll be here when you get back."

and then he climbed up on his cross, one limb at a time

and hung out, waiting for the return of the crowds.

And we all went back to college, 

to tiny apartments paid for by our middle-class parents,

where we hung posters of 60's icons up on our walls and

burned nag champa and drank grain alcohol til we threw-up on our tie-dyed tapestries.

Then we stayed up past our bedtimes around open refrigerators, 
letting the cold air escape, 

and discussed theories about foreign policy and oil and capitalism 

and other things we didn't understand,

and we passed the joint around until it was nothing but ash in our hands.

But me, I turned my radio up and rolled down my window

and shaved off all my hair, started calling myself Diane and

tried to go somewhere I wouldn't recognize myself for a little while.

I waved to Jesus on His cross and He said, "See ya soon."

In the fields under the Moon

trying to find myself amongst all those exploded little particles of light.

I thought I saw you in my reflection, out on the edge where the tall grasses whisper against the wind,

but you were just a trick of shadows and air.

I returned hot on your heels, like a blood hound on the trail 

and without missing a beat, ran face first into a brick wall of sorrows

with your name tagged all over it in suburban child spray paint.

With nothing but time on your hands, and me with never enough time on my side.

Jesus was still chilling, called down to me from His perch, 

"Why don't you try something different?" and I told Him 

I didn't know what I had, so I didn't know what I was missing.

He said to keep looking, and He'd let me know what happened while I was gone.

All the while the people were dancing in the square

banners flying, flowers in their hair, the band was playing brightly

and the hours wound down to nothing but fire and sparks and

me and Jesus, we were no where to be seen, but they were all still dancing in the streets.

And in the morning-after light, on our way to coffee grounds and 

The Grind, and the grim of the grin above the rim of our ugly mugs, 

We shuffle like ghosts in the mist, in the midst of what we missed and

who we miss the most. The Father, Son and Holy Rollers...

I rolled over, and pulled over, to pump my brakes and stay awake.

With a fist full of tears, I rest my weary gears.

Feels like we've been walking away for years and years at a time, 

never quite yours, and you were never quite mine.

"It was a gamble," said the thief at His side.

A couple of Dudes with nothing left to hide, I honk as I drive by.

Jesus waves at me from far away and I pull into the parking lot of my local Mom-and-Pop-Shop. 

Under the street lights, He tells me, tonight, it's alright.

A Man and a Woman on the Street

I liked the way he looked at her
Tender, sweet.
Anybody would have bet he was a beast beneath his work clothes.
Dark like Africa and tall.
A head full of dreads.

I liked the way he looked at her,
Tender, kind.
Even though she was short and skinny
with uneven freckles and a frizzy tangle of curls,
hiding away under her bohemian fabrics.

I liked the way he looked at her.
Tender, gentle.
Hands in his pockets, maybe he was undressing her with his eyes..
It didnt look that way to me,
but I was just a passer by.

A man and a woman on the street.
I liked the way he looked at her.
Tender, sweet.

Swamp Ho! The Labradeaux Family

More to come, but for now, some silly fabulousness to brighten your swamp-less day...
xox Lulu xox

NAKED

first hot day we all get
naked naked naked
and we strut like we've always been
naked naked naked.
short shorts and low cut
see through and ripped up
and naked naked naked
underneath.

Some Daze

Somedays, somedays, somedays, 

when you think maybe you'll move to a nice 

New Jersey suburb and start reading Better Homes & Gardens,

and have dinner on the table by 6.

When you think maybe you'll move back to where

everybody knows your name and 

the summers are warm and sandy and

you used to be somebody.

Or maybe you'll enroll in art school and 

trek off to live under the Tuscan sun for six months, 

and cast off all that dead weight you've been

dragging around year after year after year...

Or marry someone rich and handsome

who begs you to quit that second job and 

let him take you away from it all

to a well heeled Upper West Side apartment with original architecture...

Somedays, somedays, somedays, 

when you're lurking on the edge of another birthday

and trying to figure out where you'd like to wind up

as we spin silently through space.

Somedays, these days, summer, sunny, sundays..

Someday, somewhere, someone, some way, Sondheim, Somedays...

Some daze. 

The Trend of Living

Doesn't matter where you go, or who you're there with.

You set up shop in one place long enough, you notice the pattern.

The Trend of Living. 

We're all out with our battalions on Friday night,

spending our pennies, buying back freedom, drinking salvation, 

Stumbling home on our trail of bread crumbs.

 

We hate our jobs. We dream of bigger and better with an order of babies on the side.

We dream of weddings and runaway brides

and beaches, and far away islands.

We crave a kickback vacation, 

a do-nothing escape from our daily hum drum

Something more exotic than grocery shopping and lawn mowing and paycheck collecting

Far away, I am somewhere else, 

doing exactly the same thing.

Peering over the rim of my coffee cup into the distant future, where I am rich and tan and lazy.

From across my day dream, 

I'm pretty sure I can see you in the distance, 

Far away, somewhere else, doing exactly the same thing.

Everything (You Want)

It's another Rainy April Monday

and I've been working like a slave for weeks.

I just keep wanting things I can't have.

All this wanting is no good.

And then I get this bitter taste in my gut

when I start thinking about all the fun I should be having.

I want to be young and silly.

...I am young and silly.

Today's a day for punching ex-boyfriends in the face

even though it's long been over

and burning bridal magazines

and telling parents their children are ugly harbingers of disease.

Today is a day made of kicking puddles and

the dirty looks of a malcontent like me

and more strange dreams of

a strange life I don't recognize.

It's another Rainy April Monday

and I'm a slave to all the things I want

that I don't have

and that's everything.

Lilacs & Sunscreen

Somebody this morning on the train, 

sat somewhere near by 

and I

could smell the smell of lilacs

while I was staring at the sky

Out the window, it was blue

the sun was yellow and I was mellow

and humming 

Joni Mitchell to myself,

thinking about how summer's coming

And I could feel the sand under my feet 

and hear the ocean churrning

I could feel my pale skin

Burning, burning

under all that light...

Uptown; This Time Last Year

To Harlem, With Love-

This time last year,
Uptown,
I had an apartment that was small and
didn't really belong to me and
I loved it.




Walking across the Madison Avenue Bridge
in the New York City Summer Heat,

Listening to the thunderstorms roll up the island.

Stealing wireless from out of thin air to fuel the
beginnings of my Pandora love-affair,
running from rehearsal to rehearsal to rehearsal and
working 3 days a week.

We rode the bus one morning,

hungover and in matching ensembles

with my dog in a bag,

and thanked God for Greek diners.

You left your shoes in the middle of my floor

and your reflection in my mirror.

Now, back on the tree-lined streets of Suburbia,

I miss the sunlight on the East River.

I miss Kennedy's Fried Chicken at 2 am, 

and the obnoxious smell of burnt death 

escaping from the apartment across the hall.

New York.

You Know.

I Need You.

OVER-FLOW

Today a river runs through it

and around it 

and over it

Today, The Waters of New York and New Jersey
decided to rise up and overthrow the
tyrannical governing of River Banks and Side Walks.

Today they flooded the Storm Drains

and 

Swamped the Streets.

I heard on the news that a wave of radicals started

breaking into basements sometime last week and have refused to vacate.
They just keep pouring in...

Suburban housewives and their children are being loaded into rowboats
and floated down the Turnpike,

in search of higher grounds.

Chickens are drowning at an alarming rate and

Umbrella related injuries are up by 40%.

The subways have turned into aqua ducts.

Cars are being abandoned on the FDR

or what's left of it..

They say people have been spotted surfing down Bowery on briefcases.

The Suits and Heels are loosing ground.

Today, 

a river runs over it.

Dún Chathail

Ten years ago
I was in a real Irish Pub
that was in a real Irish town
that was really in Ireland.

I had real Irish friends,
who played real Irish music
and sang real Irish songs
and drank real Irish pints.

We hung out in real Irish pubs
We danced in real Irish discos
and told real Irish ghost stories at real Irish Forts,
and walked boldly off real Irish cliffsides...

Sláinte.

Green-Eyed Monster Girl Tabloid Blues

Oh yeah?!

You... with your photos..

You make me want to beat you senseless

because you were born pretty and tall and 

genetically predisposed to max out at 20 lbs soaking wet.

Fuck you and your countable ribs and

your big wide eyes and

the fact that people 

PAY YOU 

to dress up and make faces. 

Today, I hate

Pretty People

and

Rich People

and I super-hate

Pretty Rich People and Rich Pretty People.

My Daddy doesn't sell retail space on Mars 

so I actually need a desk job.

And my Mommy's not an heiress

so I only get to window shop for designer threads,

and they don't let me get too close to the windows.

They say my fingerprints are greasy

and I scare away The Benjamins when I press my face against the glass like that...

Nobody pays my rent. 

Today, I hate

hating people

and 

Facebook stalking

and

my hair, which hasn't cooperated all day...

Destiny & Other Fates

“Destiny

des-ti-ny; noun
1. something to which a person or thing is destined; fortune
2. a predetermined course of events often held to be an irresistible power or agency

synonyms see fate.

Fate- 2 entries found.
1. fate; noun
2. fate; transitive verb

1) the will or principle or determining cause by which things in general are believed to come to be as they are or events to happen as they do
2a) an inevitable and often adverse outcome, condition, or end;
2b) disaster-especially death
3a) final outcome
3b) the expected result of normal development.
3c) the circumstances that befall someone or something
4) plural capitalized- the three goddesses who determine the course of human life in classical mythology.

synonyms fate, destiny, lot, portion, doom mean a predetermined state or end.
Fate implies an inevitable and usually an adverse outcome
Destiny implies something foreordained and often suggests a great or noble course or end.”.

WE DREAM OF FLYING (ICARUS)

So many of us, even I,
Even I, who have spent my life up in the air.
I dream of flying.

Last night I fell asleep and dreamed that
I fell asleep dreaming overnight I had grown wings
and in the morning I woke up and flew away.

At first, they were like butterfly wings
all light and air,
but as I dreamed, I thought,
Those wings will never hold me.

So instead I dreampt of
Black bird wings.
Big, glorious, Raven feathers
sprouting from that sexy spot between my shoulders,
Strong enough to carry me off...

Last night I dreampt-
I stepped off my roof and flew away
into the blue bird skies
on big black wings and
never looked back.

The Servant and The Silks

    Once Upon A Time there lived a very beautiful and very unhappy Princess. She was unhappy because every Prince in the kingdom had fallen in love with her. While this would make most  any  woman happy, the Princess did not love any of them back, and so, to her it only brought great sadness and worry.

    Every day, men would journey from miles around to come to her window with gifts and tokens for her. They would read her poetry and set off in her name to perform great deeds of bravery and courage. They would call to her, “Beautiful Princess, I love thee more than any other man, and upon my return I will win your heart and carry you away to be my Bride!” This was all a very wonderful display but none of the gifts or poems touched her heart and no man moved her spirit at all. She went to bed every night with a heavy heart, worried she would never know what true love was.

    One day the Princess was walking through the market when she happened upon an old crone selling the most beautiful reams of silk.

    “You seem unhappy Princess. Some silks to cheer you..?” asked the old woman. “You are the Princess and so you may have any one that makes you happy.”

    “I do not know if I will ever be happy,” said the Princess, “ I will never fall in love.”, she sighed. “Besides, I would hardly know which to choose, they are all so beautiful..”. The old crone rose to her feet with great labor and hobbled along, plucking three lengths of silk from her table.

    “Well, my Princess, these three are my finest. Not only will they bring you happiness, but true love for certain. This one, “ she said, holding out a length of royal blue silk, “is the strongest of them all. This one, “ she continued, holding out a length of gold silk, “is the brightest of them all, and this one is the warmest of them all,”, she croaked, fluttering a length of red silk towards the Princess. “Take these three. Lay one on your bed every night for the next three nights, and on the fourth day bring me back the ones you do not want and keep your favorite.”

    The Princess pondered the idea. She did not know how silk would bring her happiness or find her true love, but there seemed no harm in trying out each to see which was her favorite. She agreed and bid the old woman good day.   

    As the Princess returned to the castle she came upon one of her servants. He was a fine young man, and like all the fine young men of the Kingdom, was deeply in love with the beautiful Princess. He knew she did not care for him, but he wished every day for a way to win her heart.

    “Boy-” called the Princess.

    “Yes, my Lady?” asked the boy.

    “Take these silks to my room. I wish to test them to find the best. For the next three nights I wish to sleep on each one. Tonight, lay out the blue silk across my bed and then leave me to my slumbers.” she said. The servant boy nodded in response and cast his eye towards the floor. As the Princess passed him the hem of her gown brushed the top of his shoe and he watched her walk away down the hall. She was so beautiful and so unhappy it brought a tear to his eye. He swore some day he would find a way to make her smile.

    That night the boy did as the Princess had asked and laid the blue silk across her bed, but he was so driven by his love for her he could not bear to leave her room. Instead he hid himself in her wardrobe and waited to watch the Princess sleep.Unaware of the boy, the Princess slipped between her sheets onto the blue silk,

    “My, this is the strongest silk I have ever touched,” she admired, and with that, the Princess fell into slumber.

    Only moments had passed when suddenly there was a great light that filled the room. The boy hiding in the wardrobe had to shield his eyes for fear he might go blind. When he looked again a tall and handsome Prince dressed all in blue silks was standing at the sleeping Princess’ bedside.

    “Princess!” cried the boy, leaping from his hiding spot. The Princess awoke with a start and the mysterious Prince leapt across the room and snatched the boy up by his shirt collar.

    “What is going on?!” cried the Princess.

    “I am the strongest Prince in all the land!” laughed the handsome man in blue, “and this scoundrel tried to attack you!” he boomed, shaking the boy like a rag doll.

    “No!No! Princess,“ begged the boy, “I was merely checking on you and your safety and found this strange man had appeared in your room!”

    “You are a liar, Boy! If there is a man in my chambers then obviously I have requested him there!” said the Princess though, indeed, she did not know where the Prince had come from. “Now go away! You have disturbed my sleep!” she said and with that the Prince cast the boy from the room with one mighty throw.

    Left alone with the Prince, the Princess said,

    “My, you must be very strong to throw a man such a great distance.”

    “Indeed Princess, I am the strongest ever made. I have battled great beast and dragons, and fought hundreds of men, whole armies, all by myself. If you’ll marry me, I’ll build you the strongest castle, and keep you locked safe behind the strongest doors, so no harm will ever come to you.” The Princess looked at the Prince in blue silk.

    “But if I am to be locked up, how will I enjoy the world?” she asked of him.

    “Why, the world is a dangerous place you silly girl. What need would you have of it when I would be there to make you happy.” he replied.

    This answer made the Princess unhappy. Though he was handsome and strong she did not wish to be locked away from the world when there were so many beautiful things in it to see.

    “I do not think that will make me happy.” sighed the Princess and with that the strong Prince vanished, leaving only a pile of blue silk where he stood.

    The Princess awoke very unhappy the next morning. She passed the servant boy who loved her and said to him,

    “Change the silks on my bed, boy. Tonight I wish to sleep on the gold silk, and I better not catch you spying on me again or I will have you hung for your bold ways.”. The servant boy nodded in response and cast his eye towards the floor. As the Princess passed him he could smell her sweet perfume and he watched her walk away down the hall. She was so beautiful and so unhappy it brought a tear to his eye. He swore some day he would find a way to make her smile.

   

    That night he changed the silks as he had promised, and though he knew she would kill him if she found him, he could not resist the urge to hid again in her wardrobe. He feared that if one strange Prince could find his way into her bed chambers, perhaps another would do so as well.Unaware of the boy, the Princess slipped between her sheets, this time onto the gold silk,

    “My, this is the brightest silk I have ever seen,” she admired, and with that, the Princess fell into slumber.

    Only moments had passed when, again, there was a great flash of  light that filled the room. This time when the boy looked back a tall and handsome Prince dressed all in gold silks was standing at the sleeping Princess’ bedside. This time the boy knew better than to cry out and so he stayed hidden and silent.

    The Princess woke and looked up at the Prince. He was more handsome than the strong prince had been, and he greeted her with a smile,

    “O, beautiful Princess- I have come to write endless poems in your honor, as I am the smartest Prince in all the land. I have learned all the things there are to know in the world and have read all the books ever written by man. If you’ll marry me and be my bride I’ll teach you the secrets of the entire universe.” he said.

    The Princess pondered his offer. He sounded like so many of the other men in the town, praising her beauty with long, dull, poetry.

    “What if I wish to learn the secrets of the universe myself?” she asked of him. To this he replied with a frown,

    “You are too beautiful and delicate to wander the world, sticking your nose into things you know nothing about. I will teach you and it will be better that way.”

    This made the Princess very unhappy. She was certain no man could teach her the secrets of the universe better than she could learn them for herself.

    “I do not think that will make me happy.” sighed the Princess and with that the smart Prince vanished, leaving only a pile of gold silk where he stood.

    The next morning the Princess awoke more unhappy than she had ever been. She was certain she would never get another peaceful nights rest with all these mysterious Princes coming and going, and she was growing increasingly sure that she would never find true love. She passed the servant boy who loved her and said to him,

    “Change the silks on my bed, boy. Tonight I wish to sleep on the red silk, and I better not catch you spying on me or I will have you hung for your bold ways.” The servant boy nodded in response and cast his eye towards the floor. As the Princess passed him a tendril of  her long hair tickled the back of his hand and he watched her walk away down the hall. She was so beautiful and so unhappy it brought a tear to his eye. He swore some day he would find a way to make her smile.

   

    That night he changed the silk on her bed and took his place hiding in the Princesses wardrobe. The boy anticipated she would be visited by another mysterious Prince and this time he had a plan. Tonight when the Prince vanished, the boy would reveal himself to the Princess and confess his true love for her. Unaware of the boy, the Princess slipped between her sheets, this time onto the red silk,

    “My, this is the warmest silk I have ever been wrapped in,” she admired, and with that, the Princess fell into slumber.

    As with the previous nights, only a few moments passed when the great light filled the room. When the light faded a tall and handsome Prince dressed all in red silks was standing at the sleeping Princess’ bedside.

    “Princess,” whispered the Prince in red, “wake up..” he said and kissed her rosy mouth. The Princess snapped her eyes open and sat upright in her bed. She looked at the Prince, who was by far the most handsome, and said,

    “Who do you think you are?”. The Prince laughed to himself and sat on her bed, taking his hand in hers.

    “Dear, sweet, beautiful Princess, I am the most romantic Prince in all the land. I have loved many women, I have kissed many lips, I have broken many hearts. If you will marry me and be my bride I will keep you in bed all the day long on the most luxurious sheets of velvet and cover you in kisses every second of every minute of every hour.”

    The Princess frowned and thought for a moment.

    “What if I do not wish to lie in your bed for the rest of my life?” she asked. He shook his head and pinched her cheek,

    “You are so beautiful, it is obvious you are meant to adorn my bed. It is where you belong and where you will be happiest.” he said.

    This made the Princess very unhappy. She was certain there was more life than lying in bed all day being smothered by kisses.

    “I do not think that will make me happy.” sighed the Princess and with that the romantic Prince vanished, leaving only a pile of red silk where he stood. Now the Princess began to weep,

    “Three nights, three silks, three Princes, and still I am unhappy! I will never find true love!” she sobbed. Quietly, the humble servant boy emerged from his hiding place,

    “Princess...” he said. She looked up at him, her face streaked with tears.

    “O, boy, what do you want of me?! Did I not tell you I would have you killed for your spying! No go away and leave me to my sorrows, please!” she yelled. He stepped toward the Princess and kneeled down at her bedside.

    “Please Princess, I have something I must say to you. I know I am not a Prince. I am not the strongest man in the land, nor the smartest, nor the most romantic, but I have watched you every day in your sadness and I have sworn I would find a way to make you happy. If you’ll marry me and be my bride I promise to let you enjoy the world, and learn the secrets of the universe yourself, and do more than adorn my bed. I also promise to protect you and keep you safe, to share with you the things I learn and the things I do not know, and I promise to tell you how much I love you every night before you slip into slumber and to kiss your cheeks in the morning when you awake. I am just your humble servant, my Princess, and I promise to love and serve you everyday, whether you come to love me back or not.”, and with that the boy wiped the tears from her cheeks and began to walk from her room, leaving only an empty space where he stood.

    “Boy!” she called after him, “Come back or you will make me most unhappy!”. The servant boy who loved her returned to her chamber.

    “Come sit by me.” she said. He did as she asked. “You know I could have you killed for spying on me?” she asked.

    “I do not care, my Princess. I would die to see you smile.”

    “You do not think such a thing is foolish?” she asked.

    “Nothing done out of true love is foolish, my Princess, not even to die.”

    “You would risk your life to tell me how you love me?” she asked.

    “A man in love must never hide his feelings, my Princess, even if it will cost him his life...” said the boy, “I love you, my Princess, and I only wish to see you smile.”

    The Princess thought about this for a moment.

    “What if I do not wish to smile?” asked the Princess.

    “Then I suppose I will not smile either.” said the boy.

    This made the Princess very unhappy. She liked to see the boy smile, as he had a warm face and a kind laugh, and she would hate to think her unhappiness caused him unhappiness too.

    “I do not think that will make me happy,” sighed the Princess, “so we will have to smile and be happy together..” she said. At the sound of her words the servant boys heart filled with such love that a light flashed through the room, so bright, the Princess had to shield her eyes. When she looked again, her servant boy had been transformed into a Prince dressed in the finest silks of blue and gold and red.

    “O, my Prince!” she said, and a smile spread across her face, “I never thought I would find you!”

    “My beautiful Princess, I have been hiding here all along.” he said, and with that the tall, handsome, strong, smart, romantic Prince kissed the happy, smiling, beautiful Princess and they  vanished in a flash of light, leaving only this story behind.

The Story of Oil and Water

    Once Upon A Time when the World was new and all the things in it lived more harmoniously together, Oil and Water were very fond of each other. They could spend hours together and it brought them great joy being in each others company. Oil would say to Water,

    “Don’t you love how we can mix together so easily, even though we are different?” and Water would agree. Then Water would say to Oil,

    “I hope we stay like this forever.” and Oil would agree.

   

    The days of the World grew greater and greater, and everything in it became less and less new and less and less and less harmonious together.Gravity began to pull things against each other. Cats and Dogs were no longer friends, Bird and Fish no longer chatted at the banks of the River. Even the Sun and the Moon began using the sky separately as so not to have to speak to one another. A great divide between all living things began, and even Oil and Water felt the strain. One day, Water looked at Oil and said,

    “You do seem to be weighing rather heavily upon me these days. Perhaps you should let me float on top of you for a while.” This hurt Oils feelings,

    “What do you mean I weigh on you?”, asked Oil, “Has it ever occurred to you that I get tired of holding you up all the time?”

    “Why must we always bicker like this Oil,” asked Water, weary of their increasingly frequent arguments, “We always used to get along so well!”. Oil thought about this for a moment and then replied,

    “Things have changed.”.

    “Do you think they will ever go back to the way they were?” ask Water.

    “I do not know.” said Oil. “Maybe it is best if we separate for a while... Maybe someday we’ll float back together again naturally, like we once did.” This made Water sad.

    “I will miss you Oil.” said Water.

    “I will miss you too, Water.” said Oil.

    So Oil and Water separated. They spent days apart, and days turned into weeks, and the World got older and older and Gravity pulled harder and harder on all the things in it. One day Water called to Oil,

    “Oil, I still miss you so!!” and Oil called up to Water,

    “Water, I still miss you too!! Perhaps we should try to mix together now? Perhaps things have changed again?” Oil said hopefully, and so they threw themselves against one another, but no matter how hard they tried they could not mix together as they once did. After many tries, Water called to Oil,

    “Oil...I’m afraid we no longer fit together..”. Oil sighed and settled back to the bottom,

    “I’m afraid so, Water... I am sorry. I’ve tried everything I can think of.”.

    “We did the best we could, old friend.”, said Water, “I am sorry too.”.

    That day the force of Gravity became so great on them that they could no longer even speak a sound, and Oil and Water have been separated ever since.

The Rose and The Thorns

    Once upon a time there was a beautiful garden, and in the very center of that garden was a beautiful rose bush, and at the very top of that rose bush grew the most beautiful rose ever created. Every day people and animals would come to see her and admire her beauty, but every time they tried to get close to the rose or touch her they found themselves pricked and wounded by the sharp thorns hiding beneath her petals. One day, increasingly annoyed by this, the Rose called down to the Thorns,

    “Excuse me, but do you mind? People adore me and they’d like to touch me, so if you wouldn’t mind ceasing to cut them and cause them pain, I’d be ever so grateful.” To this the Thorns replied,

    “Sorry, Lady, but we’re just doing what we’re meant to do.”

    “Well!” huffed the Rose, “Such nasty little things you are, its no wonder nobody likes you! It is just awful that we are part of the same bush!”. The Thorns laughed at this and called back,

    “Well if you don’t like being part of the bush, go ahead and jump! See how well you get along without us!”

    The Rose, who was terribly vane and terribly conceited, thought to herself, what do I need the rest of this bush for anyhow? So she plucked herself free from her stem and jumped towards the ground where she fell amongst the grass and the leaves. It was very cold on the ground, and The Rose could not feel the wind in her petals or the sun on her face. People passed by the bush and noticed the Beautiful Rose was gone,

    “What a shame...” they said, and continued on their way. The Rose tried to call up from the ground,

    “I’m down here! I’m down here! You can touch me now!” but no one heard her or noticed her. This caused the Rose such sadness that within a few days she withered and died from a broken heart.

    When news of the Roses death finally traveled from the bottom of the bush up to the top, the Thorns sighed and shook their heads,

    “It’s a sad thing. She was so beautiful.”, said one to the other. To which another Thorn replied,

    “She brought it on herself. If she could have accepted that we were a part of her,  she’d still be up here being admired today.”

The Rope and The Ladder

    Once Upon A Time there was a fair maiden who lived locked away at the top a very tall tower. She was in love with a handsome Prince, as most women locked atop tall towers are, and every day the Prince would ride to her window and call up to her,

    “O Fairest Maiden, come to your window! It is I, your Prince, bearing gifts for you!”.  At the sound of his call the fair maiden would rush to her window and look down upon his handsome face,

    “O my Prince, how long the hours seem between our visits!” she would call back. They spent every afternoon conversing about their plans to escape and at the end of every visit the Prince would hold up a long strand of twine and a great black raven would fly from the forest and snatch the string from his hand, then fly it up to the fair maiden at the top of her tower. With each length of twine the handsome Prince brought her, the fair maiden would weave another loop of rope, which, when it was long enough, she could climb down.

 

    On the afternoon of the ropes completion the Prince arrived at dusk at the base of the tower.

    “O Fairest Maiden, come to your window! It is I, your Prince, finally come to take you away!” cried the Prince, his heart bursting with joy at the very thought. The fair maiden rushed to her window and stared down at her Prince.

    “I am going to lower the rope now and climb down to you, my love!” she sighed. Then the maiden tied one end of the rope to her bedpost and dropped the heavy coils out the window. As she gazed toward the ground she suddenly became very uneasy,

    “My Prince!” she called, “It is a very long way down! What if I slip and fall?” she asked.

    “I will catch you!” he sang back to her. Still, the fair maiden was becoming increasingly unsure of her plans. She sat on the window ledge and let her feet hang in the air.

    “Where will we go?” she asked nervously.

    “What?” asked the Prince, growing more puzzled by her hesitance.

    “Where will we go?! Where will we live!?” she cried, the panic rising in her voice.       

    “We will go anywhere!” said the Prince, “We will live anywhere! We will be together and all will be right in the world!”

    “But what if that is not enough!?” shrieked the maiden, who suddenly lost her balance and tumbled off her perch. As she fell she grabbed frantically at the rope, her palms slippery with sweat, and cried out,

    “I’ll never make it! I cannot do this! What am I to do now?!”.The maiden was certain that all hope was lost.

    The Prince stood, horrified, at the base of the tower starring up at his love who now dangled perilously between the window and the ground,

    “My love-” he sighed with tears in his eyes, “it seems you only have two choices now. You can hang yourself with that rope, or use it as a ladder. Please climb down to me. Have faith that I will catch you if you fall.”. His words floated up to the ear of the frightened maiden and calmed her heart instantly. She took a deep breath and lowered herself  into the arms of her waiting Prince. When she was safe again she said,

    “I had never planned to fall..” and the handsome Prince replied,

    “i had always planned to catch you.”, and then he kissed her sweetly, placed her on his mighty steed, and they rode off into the unknown horizon, together.

The Prince & The Pearl

    Once Upon a Time there lived a very Charming Thief and a very Beautiful Liar who happened upon each other  one day while crossing the same bridge.

    “Good Day, “ said the Charming Thief. The Beautiful Liar nodded,

    “Good Day to you Sir.”

They smiled at each other as they crossed the old wooden bridge together.            “Headed to town?” asked the Thief.

    “I suppose it would appear that way” said the Liar, not wanting to give up her secrets. The Charming Thief smiled a charming smile at her.

    “Why won’t you tell me where you are going?” he asked.

    “Because, “said the Liar, “I know you are a Thief and you may follow me to my home and rob me of my possessions.”

The Thief laughed and shook his head,

    “You may fool some men but I know the truth. You just do not wish to share your secrets with me.”. This embarrassed the Beautiful Liar which caused her to blush.

    “You are very Beautiful,” said the Thief with a small smile, “but you are also a Liar.”

To this statement the Beautiful Liar replied,

    “Well you are very Charming, but you are a Thief!”

    “No one is perfect.” said the Charming Thief. “Since we are both headed to town, on the same road, I suggest we keep each other company.”

    “What if  do not like your company?” asked the Liar.

    “I think you do.” He replied. This made her smile. She did like his company.

    So The Charming Thief and The Beautiful Liar continued on together, sharing conversation, enjoying the landscapes on the way. They talked a bit about their past and a bit of their dreams for the future. They stopped to eat along the banks of a small river. He picked her a flower. She picked him an apple.

    “It is still a long walk to town, and I am tired from the mornings journey. Do you mind if I rest a while in the shade of this tree? The grass is so cool and I feel as though I may have wonderful dreams..” said the Beautiful Liar, stretching back to rest her head in her hands. The Charming Thief looked at her. She was very Beautiful and she wore a single pearl strung on a long silver chain about her neck.

    “Yes, I think a rest is due. May I lie beside you while you sleep?” he asked her. She nodded dreamily as he came to rest next to her.

    “Where were you going when we met on the bridge?” he whispered into her ear.

    “I was on my way to the castle, “said the Liar, “to meet the Prince and be his Bride. Some day I will live in the highest room of the tallest tower and look out over the entire country side. I will have fine gowns made of silk and precious treasures made of silver and sweet milk and honey for breakfast every morning and I shan’t ever be unhappy or have to do anything I dislike ever again..” she sighed. This was a lie. The truth was she was only on her way to the mill to buy grain for baking bread, but she was a Liar with a great streak of vanity, and did not want the Charming Thief to think she was common or plain.

    “Is that the truth?” he asked her.

    “Yes.” she replied and slipped into slumber.

The Charming Thief lay awake next to her and pondered what to do next. He did not know if what she had said was true. He liked the Beautiful Liar and wanted to sleep beside her and kiss her rosy cheeks when she awoke, but if she were to be married to the Prince then what would she want with him, a marked criminal, and if it were not true then she was lying to him. The thought filled him with rage and unhappiness as he did not like to be made a fool. Confused about what to believe, he did the only thing that seemed natural to a Charming Thief. While she slept, he slipped the necklace from her neck and made off into the sunset with her pearl.

    When the Beautiful Liar awoke it had grown dark and the stars in the sky had appeared. She was cold and damp from the dew on the grass, and she was alone. The Charming Thief was no where to be seen.

    “Hello?” she called into the dark. There was no reply. She wondered why he had left? It seemed as though they were enjoying each other. Even if he was a Thief, he was indeed charming, and handsome, and he had made her laugh. It was only as she stood up and dusted herself off  that she noticed her necklace was gone.

    “O, no!” she cried, “He has stolen my pearl!” and she sank to the ground weeping, “I never should have trusted him.”

   

    The sad, Beautiful Liar walked the rest of the way to town alone. When she got there she stopped at the Tavern for food and warmth. Seated at the Tavern Bar was the Charming Thief. Furiously she marched over to him,

    “You took my pearl!” she yelled.

    “You’re off to be a Princess, you’ll have plenty of pearls.” scoffed the Charming Thief.

    “No!” she said, “That was a gift to me from my mother! It is most dear to me!”

    “It is only a trinket. Your Prince will buy you all the pearls in the ocean.” he said .

    “It is no trinket and there is no Prince!” she cried, frustrated, “I was on my way to the mill when we met. I’m not to be married or a Princess! Now give me back my pearl, please!”

    “Why would you lie to me about such a silly thing?” He asked angrily.

    “Why would you steal my most valued possession?” she wept.

    “It is my nature...” said the Charming Thief.

    “As it is mine...” said the Beautiful Liar. A moment of silence passed between them.

    “I liked you before this.” he said to her.

    “I liked you before this, too.” she replied wiping her eyes, “May I have my necklace back now?” she asked.

    “No.” he said as he stood up, “I am keeping it to remind me of the Beautiful Liar I journeyed with one sunny afternoon, whom I might have loved one day.”

She watched him through tears as he walked to the door,

    “I never would have loved you!”. She lied.

    Her words cut him deeply and he flinched at the sound of them, but he did not stop or turn around to meet her eye, and, too proud to go after him, The Beautiful Liar let The Charming Thief slip away into the night . Many years later she still can’t help thinking of him every time her hand brushes the empty spot where her pearl would have hung.