LONE WOLF & WILD WOMAN

For a while there, I had this wild stray dog,
This lone wolf,
who'd come sniffing at my yard every so often
To lay in the grass and play with my dog
and eat my chicken and do his laundry in my basement.
He'd tell me ''Someday'' he was gonna rent us a cave,
to settle down and raise mutts in.

And I wondered how that would work.
Lone Wolf and Wild Woman take up cave dwelling
Somewhere in the asshole of Idaho.
It's almost like a Joni Mitchell song..
Made me nervous, you know
those never end well.

We'd raise feral little children
who spit and scratch and we'd tell them to
Knock it off!!
Like our parents did to us.
Somewhere in the hills of the asshole of Idaho.
In caves for $25 a month.

I wanted to tell him
Go on along without me to your cave
That's not my style.
Hard labor and my manicure don't agree
and I'm too busy dreaming about tempurpedic mattresses and sterling candelabras.
I'd only be in the way.

But everybody knows wolves and humans don't speak the same language.
So the last night he came sniffing,
I chased him off my property
for pissing on my flowers one too many times...
and he never came back.

I wonder if I'll ever see him again.